1. |
No. 75
02:21
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Man was never meant to fly
That’s why we’re born without wings
But it’s times like these you can’t help but
Marvel in the tragedy
The reminder of finality
When you fall from such great heights
Don’t expect to pick yourself off the ground
When the symbol of hope
Runs like the Doomsday Moon
You’ll believe
Even God can bleed
Sometimes your faith yields no reward
Sometimes you get what you deserve
Man was never meant to fly
There are no shortcuts to Heaven
When you have questions for God
You’ll get no answers in life
Fly high as you like
You still have to die
But death still comes for good and evil alike
I’ve seen it
I’ve lived it
I was there
The symbol of hope
Becomes a symbol of death
And leaves the rest of us alone
Wondering why
Sometimes you need an empty sky
Sometimes you need to see your heroes die
It takes an act of faith
To believe we don’t all deserve
The same fate
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2. |
The Lost Boys
01:36
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An abundance of black clothing
Does not make you ready for a funeral
In the safe stupor of youth
You make hopeless promises
When God appears to look away
You, my dear friend, stayed out of His gaze
For far too long
He couldn’t save you
And I couldn’t face you
‘Cause it’s not so easy
And I’m not so strong
I remember every song we wrote
For nobody but ourselves
Every story we told
And tattoos in gold
The lost boys never get to grow old
Tell me, what is closure when
You still speak to me in my dreams
And when every word I’ll ever scream
Comes from you?
It’s what you didn’t know that killed you
And what I’ll never know that’s killing me
Was this an accident?
Or was it your intent
To leave this land behind and finally fly free?
This isn’t what I meant when I said,
“I hope we never grow old.”
I remember every song we wrote
I remember every story we told
I will grow up without you
‘Cause the lost boys never get to grow old
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3. |
Arrhythmia
01:01
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I got sick of reaching out and
pulling back empty hands
So I’m building barricades to walk beside
Keep my distance
They don’t make a medicine
For my brand of impotence
Here in my chest
Your head on my breast
It won’t be enough but I’ll give you my best
My mental state is a mixtape
I’m always skipping ahead mid-song
Maybe it’s by design
Maybe it’s accidental
But don’t expect that you can simply sing along
No one can ever break my heart
‘Cause I was born that way
Just check my medical charts
You can’t mark time to irregular beats
So let’s cut this off before the next song starts
But these words I say are the words I say
When I just can’t find the words to say,
“Leave me alone.
Let me go.”
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4. |
Hiroshima Lovers
02:15
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I thought I’d closed
The book on you so many years ago
But that’s just another,
“I told you so,” for you
You made me a man,
A person, a thing
And secretly I know
I can’t just walk away
Remember when you tried
To give me a new name?
It was the last thing that you could
Take from me
And when the bright lights come
Shining down on me
It’ll be our shadows, embracing,
That will remain
You’re the woman who
Made the man who made the monster
How very Mary Shelley of you
You gave me a mark
You dirtied my skin
With the outline of our shadows
A bookmark for your mess
The greatest poetry that
I could ever write
Was tears streaming
Down your face
Knowing I gave you in an instant
What you did to me over time
Sweet revenge—that was our love to me
No one will ever love me like you did
I hope no one ever loves me like you did
I am only what you made me
And our outline hides in every page
Of this beautiful tragedy
Are you still satisfied?
Look on your works and despair
You and me in fearful symmetry
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5. |
Scarring Time
02:21
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If a picture’s worth a thousand words
A thousand is a lexicon
It’s the newfound language for
Those who’ve lost our voices
Screaming at the surrounding world
Sometimes you have to see what you can’t hear
This is how we’ll know we were here
In years to come when our feet can no longer follow our hearts
We’ll have the marks and the words to tell the story
Together we make romances
Love stories with white-knuckle fists
Poetry in still life
To someday be forgotten because
What we do is secret
Lost in the gaps between second hand ticks
With every flash we leave artifacts
“Remember us. Remember this.”
‘Cause the stars don’t notice the works
Of termites and ticks
Use that to your advantage
Stay hidden in the cracks
And leave behind the minute traces of who we were
And this love we had
Someday someone will find it
And when we’re old and grey
If we live to see the day
We’ll have more than flashing memories
To welcome us into the unknown
We’ll have the scars we left on time
When we’re dead and gone
After the last song has been sung
We’ll have the proof we were here at all
The universe is infinite and we are just a blink in it
But we’ll always have the scars we left on time
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6. |
No Strings Attached
02:22
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And I never had a reason
To let light into my eyes
Never asked for air in my lungs
Weighed down by broken hearts and restless minds
I know there’s no love waiting
At the end of stormy days
That’s why you’ll never see me run to
Step out of the rain
I am made in my own image
There are no strings on me
I’ve learned how to live in
The spaces between destinations
All the places that are no place at all
Because this life is not a gift, nor a curse,
No blessing and no sickness
I am only until “I am,” becomes, “I was.”
I am made in my own image
No cross to bear, no vows to swear
I share my bed with rodents and serpents
I’m more at home with the unwanted
What’s done is done.
“What dreams may come?”
That I may fly without the tethers of love
I am unloved and I am free
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7. |
Crimson Pig
01:12
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You think that you’re as strong as a hammer
But you couldn’t drive a nail - Into the soil
Props in a stage show
You think that you’re as sharp as a sickle
But rusted blades make edges dull
A useless tool just like you
Pretending you’ll be more than just a
Pig masquerading as a sheep
Crying wolf with your tail between your legs
Shed your skin to hide in plain sight
But even camouflage snakes
Die out in the sun
Crawl on your belly
Pretend you’ll paint the town red
While your true colors run
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8. |
Love + Trash
01:58
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You met me in a neon fever dream
With secrets up your nose
And eyes full of mystery
You couldn’t feel your lips
To hold back your words
So in between sentences
Baby, I was yours
And I used to warn myself against
Falling in love in winter
But you fooled me when you used
Whisky to warm your heart
You’ve got a habit of kissing empty bottles
Searching for love down at the bottom
You know it’s not hiding down below the swill
But that never stopped you from trying
I met a girl behind a dumpster in an alleyway
She said for just a few minutes
She would love me
She smelled familiar when I pulled in close
So I played the victim and I lost myself
I’ve got a habit of kissing empty people
Searching for love in the backs of their mouths
I know it’s not waiting for me back there
But that never stopped me from trying
The parts of me that we both threw away
Will never grow back
I’ll always be used
But I’ll still remember the smell
Of the trash
When I hated myself enough
To keep loving you
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9. |
Annihilation
01:20
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I’ve spent so much of my life
Trying to peel back the skin
And find parts of a person beneath
Hoping to make myself bleed long enough
To discover something that I loved
And I know it’s arrogant to think that someone
Would ever care enough to
Share what’s left of me
While everyone I know is too busy
Singing someone else’s dopey love songs
I’m trying to write a song to sing for myself
Even if it means I’m singing alone
Not every song’s a duet
Real freedom means having
No one come to mind
When you try to think of
Who you’d want to see
One last time before you die
Don’t we all want to kill
Parts of ourselves?
What do you think I’ve been trying to do?
I’ve been waiting for someone to
Witness my slow suicide
One half an hour at a time
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10. |
At the Climax
00:54
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Backseat drivers
Backseat lovers
Backhanded compliments
Dirty little secrets kept
From who you share your boring bedroom with
Who’s using who?
I can never remember
Teach me pillow talk
In a foreign tongue
But I still can’t say
“Forever”
I’m a sucker for endings
Whether sappy or happy
I need to feel the full weight of loss
Before I can move on
Come for me or
Comfort me
It’s all the same
“When you’re with me
You’re with only me.”
Repeat it back so we
Can both accept the blame
Just because there’s a climax
Doesn’t mean the story’s over
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11. |
This is Not an Exit
02:12
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We ended just like we began
Unexpected and full of surprises
Still I remembered to lock the door
Behind me when I left
Because I know that’s what you would have wanted
I was baptized in your drunken piss stains
That decorate my sleep
And no matter how hard I scrub I can’t
Wash myself clean
Our love was like the way I’d sweat
When I slept at your place:
An easy fix
All you had to do was change your sheets
And now we’re like the burns on my knees
From living room floor offerings
Christ, the bleeding only stops
If I don’t pick the scabs
I thought you’d be more than
Just another set of curses
For me to spit out of my mouth
Babe, we never had a prayer
I heard some say that god is love
I heard some say that love is dead
Maybe Hell is beautiful people
But the devil’s in the ugly details
We ended just like we began:
Honest as the piss, sweat, blood and spit
I should’ve known better than
To place my faith in body fluids
I couldn’t know better in the biblical sense
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Time and Pressure St. Louis, Missouri
Hardcore from the Gateway City.
Safe Inside Records
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